The closest to heaven that I'll ever be
by KitsuneChild
Summary: This story is focused on Envy and his past before he became the psychotic palm tree we all love and worship. This takes place about 350 years ago… Before Ed and Al, New homunculi Well they are the old ones to be correct. Envy's first love?
1. Chapter 1 : Ghost of you

Alright, first chapter…..-dance dance-

Flash-backs are in Italics FYI. . Sorry if it's a tad confusing I tried my best. I really haven't written many fan-fics in a couple of years.

Alright…this is like…. 350 years before Edo and that tasty metal bishie came to be. :o So yes there are new ((well… not new…old XD )) homunculi, since in the series it was clearly stated that every homunculi besides Envy and Greed are basically new. So why not create my own? .

Enjoy. 3

((chapter one. Ghost of you. ))

The rising sun glared into the sin's face as it shinned through his broken blinds. His room was done up in a very medieval, the gothic style, yet everything was a complete mess with the additional knives sticking out of the black plaster of the wall. Like a cocoon, the sin had wrapped himself up in his dark purple sheets, not wanting to get up and greet another day. After a while, one amethyst eye opened before Envy hissed at the sun light. Groggily he sat up and stretched a bit along with a tiny little yawn.

((flash back ))

"Damn dream…" Was all he whispered before getting to his feet, and lazily headed to the shower.

_That day proved be a dark and gloomy one as a boy around the age of 17, peered out of the window wishing to go outside. _

"_Mother, may I please see Abigail Finche today?" This handsome blonde boy asked, not turning his head to face the woman he called mother. _

_She sat before the fire place, a book in her hands seemingly not paying attention to her son's request. "You know I don't like that foul little girl. No." she spat out in a bitter low tone._

_The blonde teenager sighed then got to his feet. "I am going to my room, mother." He whispered softly before leaving the manor library. He walked all the way up to his room, up the spiral stair case, and sat in his window this time, watching the rain drops bounce of the cold glass. _

_That's when he saw her….the angel in the next door's neighbor's window. She was brushing through her long golden red hair, also watching the autumn rain fall to the colorful leaves below. _

"_..Abigail…"_

(( End))

Envy willed his clothes off then stepped into the large bath tub, turning on the shower head. He sighed deeply, the trance of the warm water on his skin very relaxing to the homunculus. After a few minuets of just standing there, he stepped out, obviously soaked, with his hair plastered to his back.

"I hate water." He spat out as he reached for a towel, wrapping it around himself.

" EEEENNVVVY!" Shouted a little homunculus girl who burst into the bathroom. Her bright red hair was up in pig tails and her bright violet eyes flashed around the room.

"WRATH!" Envy kicked Wrath into the side of the sink. Just what the hell got into the child this early in the morning?

"Oww! OWW!" Wrath rubbed her head. "Stupid ass! Dante told me to go and get you to bring you downstairs!" Said the annoyed Homunculus child.

"Eh? What for?" Envy asked, before reaching for a comb to brush the tangles from his long green tinted hair.

Wrath jumped onto the sink and started to make faces in the mirror. This was something Envy had gotten use to over time, Wrath coming in and trying to spend time with Envy, though Envy was apathetic towards the whole situation.

"Its your birthday" Wrath said cutely grinning up at him through the shattered mirror.

" Oh really now?" Envy questioned, willing some loose clothes on to walk around the manor in.

Wrath twirled around. "Its what master Dante said, it's your birthday, yep, yep!" Envy sighed.

"Heh, I didn't even know myself, you kind'a loose track after living for so long. "Envy said while putting his hair up into a pony tail before walking out of his bathroom to the hallway outside.

Wrath followed closely behind. "So where is the old hag anyways?" Envy asked Wrath running in circled before around him.

"She's in the garden with Sloth and Avarice!" She exclaimed in between making airplane noises.

Envy, getting tired of Wrath's childish actions, tripped the girl into a side table. He whistled while he headed down the massive stair case and out to the garden. To him, it seemed like it took forever to walk through the endless rows of brightly colored roses and sakura trees which decorated the entire green yard.

As he walked his head enveloped in memories once again….memories that weren't his.

((Flash back ))

"_Derek!" Called a voice from a young woman. The blonde boy turned around, hearing his name called. "Are you ready for our picnic? I packed us some lunch." Said a pretty young woman who walked up beside Derek, taking hold of his arm. She was dressed in a light brown and white dress, very old fashioned, as for Derek, He wore a very old fashioned gentlemen suit which only the rich wore in the late 1500s._

"_How are you feeling today?" The pretty red headed girl said, looking up into Derek's golden eyes. _

" _Alright, I suppose. " He replied with a smile on his face, taking her arm in his, courting her through front yard. _

"_We should we eat our little lunch?" She said hopefully though she knew they could not leave far from his house do to his medical issue with the mercury poisoning he endured as a small child. _

"_It's nice out today…. why not the garden?" The girl walking with him let out a squeak of joy. She loved Derek's family's garden. It was so big and you could loose yourself within the maze of rare flowers including the blue rose. _

_The couple walked together through the beautifully displayed flowers until they came upon a large willow tree. "Here…this is pretty." The young girl pointed out as she led him under the leaves, laying out a blanket for them to share. _

_As they sat down within the curtain of leaves where it was cooler and hidden from the outside world, she opened up her little basket and took out a few things which looked like they were prepared with care. "You mom can't see us in here." The angel said smiling with happy-ness._

"_Abby…you do too much." _

((End))

Finally Envy came upon a clearing, with a sun table in the middle of it. There sat Dante along with the two other homunculi women, enjoy some tea on that beautiful morning.

"Whad' ya want Dante?" Envy asked, quite annoyed for being called down stairs into the garden.

" Come now, Envy. Why must you be so ruthless even on your birthday?" She said in a fake motherly tone, which Envy despised.

"Teh, what ever." Envy said before leaning up against an ivy covered stone pillow next to the table.

"Mmn…. So what does birthday boy want on his special day?" Avarice asked in her usual purred seductive tone. She sat in the seat across from Dante and had dark brown hair propped up into a sloppy pony tail bun. She wore a long coat with animal fur around the collar which hung open. She indeed was easy on the eyes, yet one would not want to piss this lady off.

Envy only glared at her. "Don't plan on doing me any favors you two bit hooker. " The sin spit out at her.

"Temper, Temper. " Dante intervened. "Now, do tell Mama what you want." She said sugary sweetly.

"My bastard of a father's head on a platter." Envy said becoming annoyed with these little games his "mother" always liked to play.

Dante gave him more then a glare but simply played it off. "I'm getting tired of your little outbursts. What makes you think you can treat your own master in such a way?"

Envy just sneered at her. "Well what do you expect? I've got a bitch for a mother and my old man is a deserting bastard. "He said in a cocky tone, propping himself off his leaning post only to walk away from them.

Dante sighed and watched his back leave. "Love you too…'_son_ '." She said with a smirk before sipping a bit of tea.

Envy only replied with blowing her a fake kiss, and then flicked her off as he vanished into the endless green of the huge Victorian garden, which he blended in perfectly.

"That boy really is something else. " Avarice sighed, with a bit of a stretch, also hating being in Dante's company.

Dante grinned up at her, obviously scheming something in her evil twisted mind. "Perhaps its time to create…Lust." She said properly. "Yes…A Lust." Dante whispered to herself again.

The two homunculus women looked at one another, then back at Dante. "Save yourself the trouble, Dante. Envy just needs to get laid once in a while. That way he wouldn't be such a tight ass."

Avarice snickered as she got up from her chair, the legs rubbing against the sidewalk screeching a bit. She left without a word, wondering what she would do with the rest of her day, leaving Sloth and Dante alone in the garden.

Meanwhile

"Oh! Damnit, you think I'd know my way around this patch of weeds by now." The green haired homunculus cursed to himself as he trudged through some bushes and weeds a part of the garden that made itself clear to anyone who seen it, had not been taken care of and up kept as well as the rest of the forest of flowers.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now_

That's when Envy came into a bit of an opening. "Maybe if I just turn myself into a bird I can just fly back up to my room until the old hag calls on me to make my life more of a livi-…" He started but got cut off by something that had caught his eye.

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

There was a tree…. a big one. Not just any old tree…a weeping willow huge in size most likely from being so old. The sin walked a little closer to it. "Where have I seen this thing before?" He asked himself, scratching the top of his head a bit as he approached it.

"Stupid old tree…" He said in a hissed whisper as he found himself entering in the drape of leaves which was like a curtain hiding the base of the tree. Slowly he looked around, getting a odd feeling in his gut which he didn't like at all.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

"Eh? " He raised an eye-brow seeing something cut into the soft bark of the tree. As he dared closer the image of a poorly mis-shapen heart formed into the tree-bark.

_And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything seems like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive_

Squinting his eyes a bit he made out one of two names. " D-Derh…reek…." He spoke slowly for he always had a hard time reading yet he would always pretend that he could.

"Derek." He blinked recognizing the name as his own. What was this that he had stumbled upon?...A piece of his past? He began to read the second word which was scratched on.

_And I don't want the world to see me  
Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am_

"Auh bie gatel? ….No… no.. umm.. Abiee-galil? …Grah! Damnit!" Envy gave the tree a smack with his fist, not hard enough to break its old trunk but more as a punishment in getting out his anger of not being able to read correctly.

To calm himself Envy took in a deep breath and tried once more. "Ab…bi…..gail…" He let his fingers delicately run down the middle of the name, still a bit confused. " Abigail?" ….

_I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am_

As soon as he spit the name out, memories were pouring in his mind like a flash. He slammed his palms over his eyes and fell to his knees whimpering for this serge of broken memory was too much for the sin. Before he knew it, he had lost consciousness and had cradled into a ball on the grass, shivering.

What had just happened?

Ohh Noes :o poor cookie-kun. I'll have the next chapter up within a week, so don't beat my door down ..


	2. Chapter 2 : Love Is Poisonous

(( thanks for the reviews. Keep'em coming 33))

Chapter 2. : Love is poisonous

"OHH SHIT." Envy sat up from under a pile of leaves, the night sky outside of the willow tree, dark….dark outside. Wait..what! The sin sat there for a few moments trying to figure out what the hell had happened to him and where he was.

With a quick look about, he realized he was still in the garden. "I…guess…. I feel asleep." He said to himself having no other explanation to go on. The boney teenager stood up and picked the leaves out of his hair, still a little dazed.

Still wondering what the hell happened, he stumbled away rubbing the side of his head, trying to over take the pounding headache. "Just how long was I out?" He asked himself now in a bad mood.

"Ugh." He muttered. Not feeling like trampling through this jungle of weeds, he transformed himself into a bird and flew over the garden and into an open window of the kitchen, only to be chased by a chef with a frying pan.

((flash back ))

"_Do that again!" Abigail squeaked wanting Derek to transmute another flower. "I love your magic." She whispered, curling up to the blonde boy, resting her head on his shoulder. _

_Derek smiled warmly and created his girlfriend yet another bloomed pink rose from the array drawn on the ground. "It's not magic, Abby. It's alchemy." He sighed, having explained this to her many times before. "I don't care what it is, but it's fascinating!" She replied nuzzling is arm a bit._

_They sat there, under their tree enjoying the sunlight on their skin. Derek loved the sun, but never got out enough to change his moon light pale skin any dark. His sickness was getting worse and yet Abigail stayed at his side, loving him no more or no less because of it. This was love._

_In the house, Dante paced in front of the door as if waiting for something. It's been a month since Hoheniem had last been home. More and more she started to suspect him leaving her. However in his last letter he planned on returning on this day, home to visit with his family._

_Dante knew that his only reason for this return was because of his son and the fact that he was sick. Thus her plan was going well. Sick, demented, obsessed, deranged, psychotic, you name it, she's was it. When Hoheniem first mentioned splitting up a few years ago is when she came up with this sinister plan. Dante was mad in the head, but it worked. It kept him here with her…. _

_The poisoning of her son. _

_It seemed so perfect. Mercury was undetectable by a doctor and it would keep him just sick enough for her to have complete control over him and to keep Hoheniem from leaving._

_It was wicked…. But so perfect._

_((end flash back))_

Envy, now pissed off, walked through the main hall ready to just get back in his bed and forget he woke up this morning. As he walked across the beautiful marble floor he thought no one was around...that is until he heard a voice behind him. He stopped, and turned around really not in the mood for his sister's shit right now.

"Where've ya been birthday boy?" A seductive voice purred seemingly from out of no where.

"Getting laid. I'm not in the mood for your vanishing act right now Bitch." The green haired homunculus hissed between grit teeth at the place where the voice emitted from.

Almost at once the form of a woman came into view in the center of the room. Out of thin air, Avarice came to be. She was in her usual maroon leather coat with the fur covering the collar, the belly shirt and the low cut pants.

"I _am _the ultimate illusion after all" She purred walking towards him, her right hand on her hip, the other pointing to herself.

"Then do me a favor and make yourself vanish from this room and leave me the hell alone." Envy spit, not in the lease entertained.

Avarice was a greedy, greedy being thus her baring the sin name. She wanted anything and everything….Anyone and _everyone._ Envy was the only man she had trouble…obtaining. He made it LOUD and CLEAR he didn't want her. He wasn't…well…._into _that type of thing.

"I like it rough. I'll see you in 15." She said before vanishing once again into thin air.

Envy's upper lip curled in disgust before heading up the stairs to his room which was on the top floor. "If that whore even thinks I'm going to fuck her brains out she's too hopeful." The teen said to himself as he opened the door to his hurricane disaster room.

The sin never allowed the maids to clean it, and no one ever knew why. His once beautiful room, now a place which looked like a bombed dropped in it. He didn't care. Who did he want to impress anyways? No one. That's who.

Envy stumbled over to his bed, the sheets all torn and old. He didn't mind. His room was his sanctuary. Envy let his weight and the law of gravity do the rest after he stood over his homey resting place, then breathed in the scent of his pillow like he always did when he laid on his bed. The man turned over and laid on his back, starting to go over the new memories he had now about his past. To him, his old life was very boring.Too boring. He liked the way he looked now. Pretty.

Closing his eyes he began to feel a little sleepy bored with his life. Just as he was getting comfy he felt his stomach drop. Heat…warmth. Like fire he could feel is looming over his body.

Avarice.

She was here. She ACTUALLY came. "Go fuck someone else." The pissy sin hissed, opening one eye. Avarice once again formed in thin air, over Envy's body. Her hands were propping her up and on each side of his head, her legs and knees at his hips allowing her to straddle him.

"Come on don't you want to just have a little fun? It _is_ your birthday." She purred into his ear, and then nipped it.

This sent a shiver down Envy's spine. A mix of rage, and hate bubbled in the pit of his black heart. "I thought I told you to get the fuck off me!" He cursed colorful words glaring daggers up at Avarice, her long brown hair let down for once.

"I _want _you to fuck me." Avarice whispered heatedly, licking her lips.

Something about this made Envy snap. All that happened to him, the stress and confusion surfaced all at once and made Envy's eyes glace over with malice. "FINE!" He shouted in her face, flipping the greedy woman over, him following now on top of her. He grounded his hips into hers, earning a loud gasp from Avarice. She went to push him off but he held her hands forcefully to the bed. She wasn't going anywhere. She was gonna get what she wanted.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't see straight!" He screamed in her face, ripping her shirt off leaving bloody claw marks from where his fingers dug into her skin.

Avarice gripped the bed sheets below her, Envy earning a scream from her even though the wounds slowly started to heal. Enjoying the sound of her pain like music, he dipped his head down low, a smug grin on his pretty face.

Envy licked the side of her face and whispered "I want to hear you scream." He said in a low dark growl before pressed his lips roughly against hers, biting into the kiss causing her quivering lips to trickle blood down her chin.

"Lets see what you got." Avarice whispered, daring to challenge him.

All he did was grin.

In the morning, as soon as the sunlight hit Envy's sleeping face, he woke up, opening one eye. He breathed in deeply stretching a bit only to realize the lump which was half laying on him still asleep. That's when he remembered the heated events of last night.

"Get off." He whispered quietly, rolling the woman off of himself and to the other side of the bed. She only squirmed slightly and snorted, but remained asleep unfazed by him getting up and out of the bed to stretch in the sun light.

As much as he hated the idea of sleeping with her he rather liked the way he felt after getting out his rage and sexual frustration.

The homunculus shape shifted his clothes back on, his normal ones, and walked back over to the bed. Looking down at Avarice he smiled a bit, then scooped her up into his arms along with the blood stained sheet.

She opened her eyes slightly, waking up from being moved. "Hey babe." Avarice said softly with a tiny yawn.

"Hello sunshine." Envy said in a sugary sweet voice while moving across the room with her.

"Mhm.. what are you doing, sexy?" She said rubbing her left eye a bit still out of it.

Envy grinned as he opened the door which led into the hall way. "Taking out the trash" He said cheerfully and with a thump, Avarice hit the floor still covered by the blanket. It took her a few moments to realize what he just did but, before she could curse him out he dusted his hands off and went back into his room slamming the door.

Just because he slept with her doesn't mean he had to be nice to her….right? Eh, he didn't care one way or another.


End file.
